On my new rating scale, I award Weezer’s Weezer a 5.5 out of 9.6.

Even though I wasn’t too pleased with the new Weezer album, music isn’t quite dead. Every once in a while, although our ears are continually bombarded by the seemingly infinite stream of indie buzz bands and the irritating presence of commercial rock acts that sound like Nickelback, an album emerges that is exceptional, actually worth a listen, and curiously delightful in its moments of skull-crushing brutality and ethereal calm. For me, that album is Opeth’s Watershed. Undoubtedly, of all the Swedish prog death metal bands in this crazy world of ours, Opeth is one of the best, both in the complexity of their songwriting and in their welcome blending of different sounds. Despite the Guitar Hero phenomenon and the successes of metalcore acts such as Atreyu, Avenged Sevenfold, and Bullet for My Valentine, we closet metal lovers can always crawl back to Scandanavia, where the form hasn’t been destroyed by recent pandering to an emo-leaning target audience.

I award the new Opeth album a 7.3 out of 9.6.

“Troublemaker” – This song was an awesome selection to open the album because of its good times feel. I love the guitar riff on the drums on this song. The lyrical rap rock that Rivers has been famous for gives this song a Green Album feel to it. The driving pace really solidifies that. Clearly this song is going to be the next single off the album because it is very radio friendly.

“The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Variation on a Shaker Hymn)” – This song has been dubbed Weezer’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” and I actually feel like that is quite appropriate. They are many transitions of musical and lyrical styles. You have the rap rock in the beginning with sirens in the background and then the song closes with a traditional chord progression and driving lyrics. They are also many more styles thrown in the middle. I love the fact that Rivers took a chance with this one and really made it sound cool. This song is far from close to anything Weezer has done before, but it is easily my selection for the best song on the album.

“Pork and Beans” – Leaps and bounds better than the previous lead single on Make Believe that I dare not speak of. This song has an “El Scorcho” feel to it; it has the simple note plucking during the verses and chords at the chorus. Lyrically it’s a little corny, but you can’t not relate what Rivers is saying. I also love the underlying message of basically saying screw you everyone who only listens to the 20 by writing a song that will probably be in the top 20.

“Heart Songs” – Has a slower pace but the lyrics keep you interested. Rivers gives mention to many different artists from Bruce Springsteen to Michael Jackson. It is cool to hear about what artists people turn to from their childhood. I personally love the song because many of my own heart songs belong to Weezer.

“Everybody Get Dangerous” – This song has drawn criticism for its simplistic chorus and the background lyric, boo-yah. I took it like “Pork and Beans” its stab at people who just want to hear something catchy that can easily remember. If you really listen to the lyrics you’re really going to get a good laugh out of it because it lists off a series of teenage pranks that almost everyone has performed of thought of performing. I also thought the Rolling Stones type screeches at the end were cool.

“Dreamin’ ”- This song has a bit of a Make Believe feel to it. The lyrics are a little whiney, but the chorus keeps it from taking a turn for the worse. There are some transitions on this song that are a little weird. However, to me I am drawn in trying to figure out why. I was a little surprised at the selection of this song to be a single, but I can see that Weezer wants to maintain its emo roots. This is the perfect song for that.

“Thought I Knew” – This is the first of three songs that Rivers does not sing on. This one is composed and sung by Brain. When it was recorded it actually featured a drum machine and not a real drummer. I personally think it is a really cool song and gives you a different sound. Some people have been saying it doesn’t fit as a Weezer song but I think it does and it definitely belongs on this album.

“Cold Dark World” – Scott sings on this one, but Rivers takes over at the choruses. The song was also composed as a joint effort between the both of them. Scott actually sounds a lot Rivers during the verses because he adopted the speak/sing style. If you couldn’t have judged by the title this one really has a emo feel to it, but it is easily the best of three non-Rivers lead songs.

“Automatic” – Pat composed and sings this one, with Rivers switching to the drums. Pat actually sounds a lot like Rivers when he sings. The guitar crunches make it sound like a song from Maladroit. The lyrics are really cool and I would love to see Pat more involved in the lyric writing process in the future.

“The Angel and the One” – Follows the Weezer album formula by closing with a really heart felt dragging paced song. I like the song, but I feel that this one is the most difficult listen on the album. Unlike previous album closers “Only In Dreams” and “Butterfly” the guitar work is really simplistic and boring until the very end of the song.

“Miss Sweeny” – The first of four bonus tracks and is clearly the best one. The song is obscure and I actually think it would have been a cool inclusion on the non-deluxe version. This song tells a story and I think that is always a really cool aspect to add to music. I would get the deluxe edition just so you can hear this song.

“Pig” – I had already heard this song because it was put on the internet by Rivers as a demo a year or so ago. This song seems like it should belong on the soundtrack of Babe or something. I am not really a fan and I think Rivers should stay within the human element.

“The Spider” – This song features mostly an acoustic guitar and minimal percussion work. While the guitar is cool I think they really needed some drums here. The lyrics are a little weak here.

“King” – I don’t know why, but this song was left off the main album at the last minute. Scott got really pissed and Rivers told him to sing it and then they would add it as a bonus track. I really like this song, but I would rather have heard Rivers sing it. The lyrics are cool and it would have fit with what seems to be the theme of this album.

Well there you have it. The only songs that are mediocre are the bonus tracks “Pig” and “The Spider.” Other then those every song on this album has a little something for everyone. I just can’t stop listening. Rivers is obviously ecstatic with this release as well. After Make Believe was released he wasn’t sure if Weezer would ever release another album. In a very recent interview he said that Weezer has plans to release another album next year and he feels very positive about the band’s direction. That couldn’t make me happier. I don’t really know what else to say besides good work fellas and see you on tour when that happens!

But first off, I should expound on a new joy in my life. I didn’t see it coming, for several reasons, and now that it’s here, I am as closed to excited as I, as a non-excitable kind of guy, can be. Relatively speaking. I’m referring to the new rock radio station here, 101.9 RXP. Apparently, contrary to rumors of its death, as well as the emergence of intelligent music dance music, rock ain’t quite dead yet, with RXP even replacing the requisite “smooth jazz” station that used to occupy 101.9 FM.

I never expected this kind of station around these parts. This is New York. People listen to lots of things—hip-hop and top 40 pop and reggaeton, and who knows what else—19th century opera, I guess. We already have three “rock” stations. Three’s company, right?

Also, I was always under the impression that every area needed a smooth jazz station to supply, if nothing else, inoffensively boring elevator music, but rock’s resurgence has swept easy listening aside in favor of classic and alternative RAWK. I know lots of parents who probably miss listening to smooth jazz while doing the Times crossword on weekends. I just can’t see them sitting down to The National and going about their business. That’s because listening to The National is all about introspection, contemplation, and post-punk surreality.

With all this in mind, I was pleasantly surprised that our new rock station includes so much indie-alternative rock. I know that K-Rock pretends to play alternative rock, but they play a decidedly mainstream and commercial variety from the catch-all genre. RXP is like listening to a Grey’s Anatomy soundtrack, throwing out Nada Surf singles in between Radiohead’s “Creep” and your mom’s least favorite U2 single. It’s great. Of course, if I have to hear “I Will Possess Your Heart” one more time on the radio, at Borders, or in Panera, I’m going to be upset. Very upset.

I guess I should start finding a new layout for this mess of a blog.

Most people create a summer reading list for one reason or another. I created my summer reading list, because I have so many books I haven’t read yet.

Summer reading list:
You Shall Know Our Velocity by Dave Eggers
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon
The History of Love by Nicole Krauss
The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen
Sense and Sensibility and Mansfield Park by Jane Austen
The Beautiful and Damned and The Last Tycoon by F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Road by Cormac McCarthy
Aureole by Carole Maso
Without by Randie Lipkin
Rant by Chuck Palahniuk
Ada, Pnin, and Pale Fire by Vladimir Nabokov
White Teeth by Zadie Smith
The Waves by Virginia Woolf
Gravity’s Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon
Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky
Gilead by Marilynne Robinson
The Violent Bear It Away and Wise Blood by Flannery O’Connor
Charming Billy by Alice McDermott
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
A Room with a View by E.M. Forster
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
The Awakening by Kate Chopin
Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut
The Gathering by Anne Enright

I’m also reading short story collections by T.C. Boyle, J.D. Salinger, Rick Moody, Jennifer Egan, Annie Proulx, Alice Munro, Jhumpa Lahiri, and Junot Diaz.

It has been at least 5 minutes since I’ve seen him. Thank god I’m immune to the effects of skinny blondes.

The only other person that I know who does things like that is my friend cassie (not red). Make your own judgements.

The first slap on the wrist goes out to Jerry Jones. I know he likes the spotlight and I know he loves players that like the spotlight. However, providing the Cowboys’ training camp for the HBO Hard Knocks show is a horrible more. With all this spygate crap going on, it is an awful idea to provide every team in the NFL a look inside training camp. This isn’t a total disappointment, because I think it will keep the players from doing stupid shit when people are taping them all the time. Although the majority of players have said that this program is more distracting then anything. I don’t think the Cowboys’ locker room needs any more distractions.

Now, I have to talk about Tony Romo. For crying out loud, please stay out of the public eye! I know for a fact that he works very hard and he is very focused on football, but he keeps giving people reasons to talk about other things besides football. Apparently he has broken up with Jessica Simpson and the press keeps hounding him about it. My question is how would people know this if he weren’t in Chicago butchering “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” and partying with a bunch of guys in a popular place. I am criticizing Tony because he seems to be getting frustrated with all this attention, yet he doesn’t put himself in a position to avoid it. However, what is even more appalling to me is when Cowboy beat writers ask him about this crap. These are guys who are supposed to fans of the team; shame on you for distracting the quarterback of “your” team. How about asking him if he has been working with the rookie receivers or if there are any new schemes that we can look for? This is a shame and it is even more disturbing that people that are supposed to be inside the organization are enabling it. On another note, I have no problem with his avid golf playing. He deserves to have a hobby, like everyone else, and I like hearing about how well he did in the US Open qualifier. Shame on anyone that says golfing is distracting to his football playing.

Next up is everyone’s favorite Terrell Owens. I actually don’t have a problem with his appearance on Flava Flave’s reality show. It really was benign and was actually funny. On the other hand he has been a major culprit in enabling the Tony Romo situation. In a recent interview he called Tony his boy, but poked fun at his expense. I believe he said something along the lines of leaving the singing to Jessica. While this is appropriate for the locker room it should not have been said publicly. This gives a perfect lead in to the next disturbing situation.

Greg Ellis recently went on air saying the Roy Williams told him that he is not playing in Wade Phillips scheme and he doesn’t think he will be able to fit in. This was a comment Roy made last year in training camp. Shame on you Greg for telling everyone this statement. He claims that Roy is his friend. Well friends don’t put their friends on the hot seat with the media. This is a different system and Roy needs time to adjust and having Dave Campo back this year should do wonders for his ability to adjust. Criticizing Roy for being under prepared for games is something that I want to hear about. I don’t want to hear about what Ellis has to say about what Williams said. I also don’t want to hear about how Roy’s breakup with Kelly Rowland and his recent “finding of God.”

Stop talking about this junk and let me know about what’s going on football wise. I am tired of these distractions. Let’s play football and stop being children gossiping in high school. Elite teams go out of their way to push the media away and stand up for each other. I am not seeing this here and something needs to be done right away limit the non-football related media exposure the Cowboys are getting.

“Consolers of the Lonely” opens with the title track and I promise you, you are not going to be able to get this song out of your head. The guitar riff in the beginning and at the chorus is awesome. After one listen I knew I was going to eventually learn how to play it. The following track, “Solute Your Solution” keeps the high energy flowing. It also provides a nice lead in to one of my favorites “You Don’t Understand Me.” The lyrics are outstanding and the piano solo is very cool. The following track “Old Enough” has a violin and a country feel. Usually that would be a recipe for disaster, but the call and answer vocals and percussion really bring it together. “Top Yourself” has a hardcore White Stripes feel to it. Which isn’t even close to a bad thing. Benson takes the front of the stage on “Many Shades of Black.” Besides his incredible belting vocals, the song features a pretty cool trumpet line. Towards the end of the album White and Benson show their ability to write some pretty cool story telling songs. “Rich Kids Blues” is has really funny lyrics but they manage to keep the song very serious sounding. “Carolina Drama,” the album’s closer, is clearly the best song on the album. White narrates a story about a boy Billy, his mother, stepfather, and a priest. The stepfather is abusive and beats up and kills a priest who turns out to be Billy’s father while the mother sat in tears. In the end Billy takes a stand and kills his stepfather. However, the story doesn’t seemingly end with the last line being “If you must know the truth about the tale/Go and ask the milk man.” All I’m saying is that if the song doesn’t give you chills then you’re crazy.

Having given the world only one weeks notice on the release date of the album, you had to assume that this was going to be an outstanding album. I really can’t find a single flaw in the whole album. I am going to go out and say that this one is an instant classic. I hope these guys stay together and keep evolving as time goes on. “Consolers of the Lonely” easily gets a 10.

Although these guys have been around for a while, they just released their first full-length album, “Flight of the Conchords.” The album features many of the classics, such as “Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros” “Think About It” “The Most Beautiful Girl (In The Room)” and “Business Time.” If you haven’t heard those you have to YouTube them. I promise you are going to be laughing your ass off. The album opens with “Faux Da Fafa” which is basically the two of them throwing out random French phrases. If you pay attention it’s really funny. “A Kiss is Not a Contract” is one of the few songs on the album that I haven’t heard before and it instantly became one of my favorites. The best song on the album is easily “Bowie.” It is a blatant stab at how ridiculous David Bowie was/is. It was a little disappointing that “If You’re Into It” “Brett, You’ve Got it Going On” and “Jenny” were absent from the album. Make sure you to download those ones as well. The one knock I have against this album is that once you see them live there is no substitute. Their facial expressions and mannerisms brings them to a whole new level. That obviously can’t be see on an album. That isn’t really their fault, but it just doesn’t seem as funny as when you are watching them. So, in conclusion Flight of the Conchords debut gets a 9.

Best Albums of the 90s:

10) Blues Traveler – Four
9) Pearl Jam – Ten
8) Spin Doctors – Pocket Full Of Kryptonite
7) Foo Fighters – The Colour And The Shape
6) Red Hot Chili Peppers – Californication
5) Nirvana – Nevermind
4) Weezer – Pinkerton
3) Oasis – (What’s The Story) Morning Glory
2) Green Day – Dookie
1) Weezer – Weezer